Hmmm, interesting. Why do I keep doing this? Guilt!I realized that I'm feeling guilty because "I'm not doing anything"...just sitting. I have this need to feel like I'm accomplishing something in the traditional western sense of accomplishing something.
Exploring further, it becomes clear that I'm worried about what others will think about how I'm spending this time. I'm worried that my wife or kids will be thinking I should be doing something more productive. My body is tense from concern.
The funny part is I get up early to do my sit and my wife is still sleeping. Pretty silly how our small minds create unwarranted suffering. Now I have a new awareness opportunity to look forward to.
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